Anxiously Awaiting WInter

I was on the phone with Will while driving from one customer's house to the next.  My next stop was at a few trailers randomly placed on the side of a main highway.  As I pulled into the gravel lot, I told Will I had to get off the phone.  This place was rather trashy looking and I wanted to hurry and make my stop and get out of there!  The standard procedure consists of knocking on the door of the customers house and getting him or her on the phone with my manager.  If the customer is not home, I leave a letter for the customer and hope that it prompts him or her to give us a call.

I had to make my way through the maze of random mechanical parts, children's toys, forgotten trash, and abandoned scraps of clothing to get to the door of the trailer. I knocked on the door and was answered by an unknown number of dogs barking on the inside.  Shortly thereafter the door begins to open.  

I'm afraid the image thereafter burned into my brain will never go away.  In the doorway stood a woman of about 350 lbs.  She had one dog tucked under her right arm, another she was pushing back with her foot and yet another she was holding tight to the collar of.  She yelled over her shoulder for someone to come get the dogs before she lost hold of them.

Her head was about the size of a basketball.  She had salt and pepper hair that was falling out of a ponytail but still held stiff out of her face by the thick build up of grease that comes from far too few showers.  Her thick mustache stuck out from her top lip at a 45 degree angle, only slightly distracting from the few rotten plaque covered teeth she had left.  She was stylishly modeling a pair of stretchy shorts three sizes too small and a purple lace see-through bra.

I wasn't sure whether I was going to laugh, cry, or vomit.  Upon discovering that the lady I was after was not home, I handed the woman at the door the letter and hustled my way back to the car. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" I yelled over the music as I drove away.  Needless to say, I hope the winter brings many many turtle necks and long baggy sweat pants.